Through My Looking Glass

We have to love ourselves and know that if anyone say they love you, that is a second or third. It should now make or break us. We do not have to say now we are loved because we already love ourselves.

Some of the things we must remember is,     1. We are somebody

2.    We are important

3.    We are not defined by the negative ways other define us

Is the holiday stress we are putting on ourselves worth it?

How is it worth it? Most important, will we recover. 

As we go through live some people get joy in telling other things like, You too black. You are fat. You do not dress right

You not good enough. You will never turn out to be anything. No one will ever love someone like you. You are not the right type. You do not know how to do that.

We all have two things in common. We are born and we die. Somewhere between birth and death we all feel pain. Some of us feel more pain than other. Some of our closest family and friends can cause us more physical and psychological pain than they should. Pain hurts no matter what kind. We need to give ourself some self-love. Giving ourself self-love can help us to see the warning sings. See thing that does not feel right and get us ready to say NO! and step away. We need to find ways to lessing our pain.

Loving yourself is important in everyday life. it makes us heather. We learn to have less expectation of others. What are some of your reasons for loving yourself?.

The first step to a good mental health is to be honest with ourselves about what we are feeling and what you are looking to change.

Every day, we will likely face something that is out of your control. Our well-being shapes how we engage with it and how well we come out on the other side.  Take it day by day and we should always give ourselfsoe self love.

Weather we are an abuser, a victim, or a survivor, we all need self-love, and we all need support.

According to the CDC, 124 people die from gun violence every day and even more sustain non-fatal injuries. From my experiences it is that invisible monster that exist in all of us. From a young age. If we do not learn to control it, it will control us. The sad thing is this monster are born  when we are at our weakest point.  I believe it exist in all of us

According to the CDC: Over 1 in 10 youth in the U.S. are experiencing depression that is severely impairing their ability to function at school or work, at home, with family, or in  their social life. 16.39% of youth (age 12-17) report suffering from at least one major depressive episode (MDE) in the past year. 11.5% of youth (over 2.7 million youth) are experiencing severe major depression.

Blach History Month is a time to take a deeper look into ourselves. what are we and what can we do to make this world a better place for the next generation.  why is it that we treat each other better than other race treats us. we are all one. we need to love each other.

Self-love should be our most import responsibility.  It is through self love will we see the things around us that is holding us down. Are we doing too much for other and not taking care of ourself.  Is our mental help suffering?

People no matter how close you are to them will disappoint you. It is for us to be prepare that it happens. It is part of life, but it should not be. We need to be responsible for ourselves. We are in control of ourselves. 

This upcoming holiday. It is one of the most dangerous times of the year for victim and survivors. Over 97,700 died from overdose mostly accidently. Opioids are a factor in 7 out of every 10 or 72% of those overdose deaths. Many commits suicide this time of the year than any other time.  By making positive choices, we will make it through the rest of the holiday and after.

We should congratulate ourselves then use the positive we learn to help us through the end of the year. Better days are come. Take deep breath. Count to ten.

So lets think, if we have family, mother, father, sister, brother, children, etc.  All they need is to know we love them and will spend time with them. Love and time is worth more than gold. I recall the old days when we would give handmade gifts. Calling a person who is lonely once a week is worth more than trying to fine money to give that person a onetime twenty-dollar gift. This is a time for self-love so we will survive this joyful but dangerous time a year.

Surviving the holiday can be a challenge.  we need to figure out what to do  to keep ourself in a positive mode. Lets enjoy the holiday by first give ourselves some self-love. 

pay attention to the tings and people that can cause a trigger. 

Is it not going to parties?

Is it not being around certain people or going to certain places 

Is it not eating certain food

Do you know what to do when one creeps up on you

always money cannot buy love and happiness

This week part four is based on doing a self-evaluation using The Work Preference Inventory. It is taken from the Journal of Personality and Social psychology.  In doing this evaluation I found myself looking at myself in ways I have not before. I am making better choices. I found things I need to work on and things I am very proud of myself about.  Please join me in taking this. You will be surprised. If you have not done part 1-3. Please go back to my last three episode and do it. You will be happy you did it.

Come join me for in doing part three of a self-evaluation. This week I took thirteen questions from the Desirability of Control scale. It was developed to measure individual differences in the level of motivation to control the event in one life. It is always good to evaluate ourself.

In doing this self evaluation we need to think about ourself only.  As victims and survivors we sometime forget how powerful we are. We must always remember we are in control of ourselves. We are the only one that can make decision as to the choices we make. It could be as simple as laughing at a joke orat difficult as choosing to something we do not want to do but does it because other are doing it or say we should do it.

Always remember you are loved.

As Victims and survivors, we often think the worst of ourselves. Over the next four weeks, I will ask you to join me in doing a self-Evaluation.  This week I will do the "Fear of Negative Evaluation Scale. (This was taken from the Journal of Consulting Clinical Psychology) 

Come join me next week. I will be doing the "Need Assessment Questionnaire"  It contain statements that may describe the type of things we may like to do.

When did it start? Why did you start?

If you started before age 21, who supplied you with the alcohol? 

Where did the alcohol come from? What was and is the underlining cause for the drinking

Are you opening about your illness

Just like you would not let someone drive when they drink, support the people around you who should not drink. 

As we know alcohol contributes to millions of overdose death each year

As victims and survivors, we want to be safe and healthy. How many times have we said, "if I could do that again I would do it differently". That is reflection.  Lets use our reflection to make better choices. what would you change. 

There is good in that person that smiles and says hello to you when the last fifty people passed you and look down on you. The person that listens to you when you need to just talk. As victim and survivors, we need all the positivity we can get. All the choices we make no matter how small can make or break us. We also can make positive choices that will change someone's life. Be that person.

We are all sure of two things. one is birth and the other is death. Whatever comes between we are all in some way leave our mark in life. August 24 was my son Omarie's Birthday. He left his mark. Lots of people took time out to say happy birthday to him. The crazy thing is it was my birthday as well. we have shared a birthday for forty-two years. This would have been forth three. Happy birthday my son. He always gave me flowers in some form or another. This year a good friend of his gave me flowers. Sometime things happen that cannot be explain.

When a child lives with a depressed parent the child can get depressed as well. Children feel what the parent is going through. They feel the energy the parent is putting out. Lets keep these children safe and healthy. Once we get help for ourself we can then help our children.  Remember very young children gets depress as well.

As Victims we have to be happy for the little things in life. First and most, we have to be happy for waking up this morning. Being alive in this moment this time. For that I am happy. Join me, lets fine the little things to be happy about. 

Love should come naturally but i realize at times we have to be mindful.  Love has different meaning to different people. When it comes to family. It is sad but we have to be mindful of them as well. Your first love should be you.   

Marijuana is not for children. When children mistake "edible" marijuana (like gummy bears, brownies, lollipops, etc.) for regular food and eat it unknowingly. Small children are at higher risk based on their size and weight.  Because edible products have very high amounts of marijuana, the symptoms are more severe on a small child. Many young children who consume marijuana edibles require hospital admission due to the severity of their symptoms. IF you have marijuana or edibles in your home, keep it aways from children. use Alock box so children cannot have access to it. Protect your children.

As victims and survivors, we have to have self-Discipline. Some of the choices we make can make or break us.   Lets set goals so we can become a better us.   

Times when we lose a loveones, we question why. Today I question why my children ws taken away from. I miss mt children

I have had the displeasure of saying my final farewell to my son Omarie.  A bitter taste in my mouth, an even bigger hole in my heart. It is not easy for a mother to put her child to rest. For me, this is my third. When will the pain end? how much can one bear. Omarie i know your soul is at rest and you have gotten your wings. For that i will rejoice knowing you will be beside your sister Ebony and your brother baby Smith watching over me.  Omarie you are a great son, brother, father, grandfather, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend to us. I know you were proud of your baby girls this weekend. Keep watching over them. Watch over us all. Your brother's and i will also need a lot of strength. As you saw, lots of your families and friends came out to celebrate you. you have left a positive legacy for all of us. We thank you for your love. We thank you for your acceptance of all as a people. We will be forever grateful for knowing you and for the time we spent with you. what i am asking is put in a good word for us all.

Children are sometimes taught to say sorry when they hurt someone. The problem ls, if there is no consequences behind their action, they will go up and continue hurting other feeling saying sorry is all they need to do. We need to learn that out negative  actions can affect not just the person they hurt but the ones closes to them. Lets be positive to others. caring does not cause anything. My son Omarie was a caring son, father, brother , uncle, cousin and grandson.  I miss and love him. We can learn a lot from him. He had a good, positive heart that sees good in all. i love and miss you my son.

The one thing no one can take from us is the gift of giving birth. That is a feeling like no other. Lets celebrate  the joy of being a mother. Join me in celebrating all the mothers.

Nov. 18, 2021 -- The CDC reported that an estimated 100,306 Americans died from drug overdoses during the period of April 2020 to April 2021, a 28.5% increase from the previous year.

As Victims and survivors, we are lucky. We have a lot to give thankful for. Give thanks for getting up every time we go to sleep. Lets give thanks for the little things in life. Lets help other. 

So you have a goal. What steps are you taking to accomplish that goal. If you are a victim, your goal might be to become clean or get out of that  abusive relationship you are in. How do you do that. We are strong lets go for it.

As victims and survivors there are a lot, we have to accomplish. In doing all that we have certain goals we want to achieve. What are those goals and what do you need to do in order to achieve those goals?

This is a people needing people world. We all need to be connected to someone. As victims and survives we know at some point in our life, we need someone. The wonderful thing is we are also needed by others. We can support and be a positive connection to others

We all try to seek out that special person to spend some quality time with. Why is it so wrong to expect to have a good time without it being negative or be violent? There is so much misconception on reason and ideas of why.   

At times we allow others to influence the way we see ourselves. We allow others to shrink us down to where we fall from the positive path we are traveling. Lets keep our eyes on the prize which is us. We can be who and what we want to be.

instant gratification is something that most of us look for every day. At time we even feel we should not have to work for it. WE need to discipline our body and mind to work at what we need to in time we will achieve our goal 

Sex trafficking is on the rise.  Lets look at Who is most vulnerable and who are the traffickers. Lets help the victims and put an end to the traffickers. 

One thing I have learned is everyone needs support. If you are a victim support is out here. Domestic violence is on the rise every day. If you are experiencing domestic violence which can also include sexual assault, support is out there for you as well. You just have to be ready to take it.

Being a victim is one of the most difficult things a person can experiences. Weather someone is hurting you are you are in the process or hurting yourself, know, things can get better. Let today be the tomorrow you have been waiting on. Lets get support and do all the little things we dreamt of doing when we were in that dark place.

As  survivors we are gifted, we are educated, we are lucky, we are strong, we are messengers. We are an example to the survivers to come.

Child abduction is happening all over the world. About 8 million children are reported missing each year worldwide. There is about 2300 children are reported missing daily in the US. Teenagers are the most common age group for abduction. this is very say lets do what we can to keep out children safe at home.